Fear Itself

Khush Raho with Sangeeta

Everyone feels fear at some time or another. It is after all a reflex emotion, part of our survival instinct, and as part of the fight or flight response it serves a purpose — it alerts us to danger, puts us on our guard. In that sense, some fear is healthy. But if you have ever had a cancer diagnosis, whether the treatment succeeded or is ongoing, whether it was six months ago or a few years ago, that fear sits like a small stone in the middle of one's abdomen. It needs very little to blow up into a full-fledged weight and expand inside one's chest like a balloon. The trigger can be anything, a fever, a rash, a stomach infection, a severe headache. What for most people will be an irritating hiccup on their life journey feels much bigger to us, because for many of us the first symptoms of our cancer were small things, low grade fevers, a throat ache, hoarseness, excessive menstrual bleeding. 

Someone in the cancer support group I run has been cancer free for a few years. Recently some minor symptoms appeared in the area where the organ was removed. In his mind it is the beginning of that same painful journey, from diagnosis to surgery to chemotherapy and recovery, even though his reports are fine. He fears it is back. I have been speaking to many cancer survivors and those in treatment, and this is a common experience. Fear becomes an ever present companion. One can never truly relax. 

So what does one do? It is a complex process and there are no easy solutions. Like all change, it begins with awareness, the understanding that what I am feeling is a response to the trauma I suffered. As Dr. Gabor Maté says, "Trauma is not what happens to you, it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you." 

From an energy point of view, the fear energy is something we need to expel from our systems. As the law of attraction tells us, energy follows thought. If our thoughts are focused on disease manifesting in our system, powered by fear of experiences we do not want to go through again, we attract more negative energies. So my mantra for this is: cleanse, nourish, and nurture. 

Cleanse means getting rid of negative energies through emotional hygiene: exercise, breathing, and meditation. At the end of each day, follow a simple physical cleansing ritual: wash your feet, wear fresh sleeping clothes, and say a small positive affirmation, and waking up and saying a gratitude affirmation. 

Nourish means feeding ourselves with healthy, happy material and energetic food. Eating fresh, healthy, seasonal food on a well-balanced plate, and feeding the energy body with emotions of love, positivity, and support, understanding that whatever happens, I am happy, healthy, and strong now.  

Nurture means making this into a regular habit. True growth comes from consistency. If one misses exercise or meditation on an occasional day, or has a ‘cheat day’ for some junk food, that is fine too. But as a rule of thumb, at least six days a week, these rituals of cleansing, nourishing, and nurturing will build the positive energies that keep fear under control, and allow it only where it is truly needed. 

This is my mantra, and I share it here for any of you who have experienced a traumatic illness, whether for themselves or as a caregiver. As we become more regular in our practice, it becomes effortless, simply a part of how we live, more mindfully and with greater awareness. 

(Sangeeta Bhalla

 is an Energy Healer, Instructor, and Therapeutic Aromatherapist. She can be reached at www.sangeetabhalla.net )