Prathamesh Jadhav

1. Title: Baby John
2. Director: Kalees
3. Cast: Varun Dhawan, Keerthy Suresh, Wamiqa Gabbi, Jackie Shroff
4. Where: In theatres near you
5. Rating: H

Now read the headline again, and you can easily hail Salman Khan’s presence  as the ‘only saving grace’ of the Varun Dhawan-starrer, mounted as a mass entertainer. No, we don’t like to reveal the surprise (Khan’s cameo) in the review. However, so incoherent, messed-up, and chaotic is this watch, that we had no option but to offer  the spoiler as the only respite!

But hey! Salman Khan making his mighty (and sparkling) presence felt is hardly a surprise these days. With Bhai popping up on the big screen in the form of a saviour, it’s oh-so-commonplace that it can hardly be slotted into the category of being a spoiler, right?

In what can be termed as a seemingly never-ending yawn-fest, stretching beyond 160 laborious minutes, Bhai’s entry in a post-climax sequence is perhaps the only moment that draws whistles and cheers from the audience!

On the surface of it, director Kalees’ Baby John looks sleek, stylish and even sophisticated. But you know that you are in for a rather skull-crushingly boring exercise as you cruise along the storyline that fails to stick — scene after scene, sequence after sequence! There’s this unflinching desperation of sorts to mount the film with a mass appeal of an unheard scale, but the shoddy screenplay, the sheer repetition of cliched set-pieces, and poor writing (add to that equally forgettable acting) make Baby John a tiring affair — one that makes you feel nauseated.

Varun Dhawan tries hard to be cocky with his misplaced swagger, but his lines don’t quite land, much like the over-the-top action that leaves you dizzy and exhausted. Adding insult to the grave injury is the line that comes from the terrific Rajpal Yadav — “Comedy is a serious business!” And laugh we all did — collectively, in the dark hall — perhaps the only relief in the watch that is more forced than fantastic (which it certainly aspires to be!).

The official remake of the film Theri, starring Vijay, Baby John offers a tale where the protagonist leads a double life as a cop seeking revenge. Beneath the otherwise tranquil veneer of suburban life, our charming protagonist (Varun) resides with his daughter. Their bond is more of a gentle hum of domesticity and all things smooth. The soft glow of attention from the child’s school teacher (Wamiqa) hints at an about-to-bloom romantic tale — a whispered promise of warmth to come.

Yet, like a summer storm with its largely overbearing fury, violence erupts, shattering the stillness on display. The sudden and solid transformation of sorts is akin to a butterfly unfurling its wings — in what is largely interpreted as a meek, unassuming man, gives way to a fierce warrior — his crisp lungi folded, his fists flying to deliver lethal blows. His past, of course, is a canvas painted with large brushstrokes of sorrow and loss, and it begins to unfurl itself, exposing the dark chapters comprising a corrupt minister’s wrath (Jackie Shroff) and the devastating cost he exacts: the loss of his wife (played by Keerthy Suresh) and the mother (played by Sheeba).

Needless to say, the ‘bloody’ business has to have a logical end — the means employed here are violence. Varun puts to use everything and anything that comes his way as a weapon to punch, to slit throats, and converts the baddies into pulp, as he hams his way through the bloodfest (suits the title, you see!).

In all this madness, we witnees earnestness and sincerity, showed by the cast (read Varun and Keerthy), but in all honesty, the execution fails the efforts.