Here’s to Dec, the uncomfortable month of reflection and revelation. The antidote for this is having realistic expectations of yourself and others

December is a mood. It’s that magical time of the year when we neatly wrap emotions and hard truths from our experiences with glitter tape, pretending everything is perfectly under control. It’s the month when we, the highly evolved procrastinating creatures, suddenly discover reflection, purpose. A time when we realise that mobile phones are not just for scrolling but can also be used as stationery for noting and writing down lofty resolutions we fully intend to abandon in a week, or max fortnight, after the new year hangover dilutes. Don’t panic. Read the next few paragraphs with complete faith and no guilt. They are written by one who proudly breaks his New Year’s resolutions by Jan 7. 

December is the season of retrospection, conveniently forgetting that we spent 11 months expertly postponing everything that involved effort, discipline, and emotional maturity. December arrives with a halo, whispering seductive feelings that echo “New You” and “Fresh Start”. We smile, nod, and add them to our extended near-impossible To-Do list, right after “learn guitar”, “write book”, “call cousins back”, and “finish 2021 online course”.

In all this now ritualistic understanding, the only thing that has grown is our list of things we meant to do. However, hope you have realised that procrastination isn’t a time management problem. IT IS A LIFESTYLE. A beautifully curated art installation made of excuses, fears, YouTube rabbit holes, long Instagram scrolls and the unshakeable belief that “January will be different”.

Traces of unexecuted plans are all around us: Look around yourself. There sits the dusty guitar you bought after watching one unplugged video. That Coursera course “Understanding the Universe”? That you never opened. Your sketchbook with exactly one sketch, that too of the day you bought it, after evaluating a dozen options. And the treadmill? It has been officially redesignated as a multi-functional towel hanger.

We should not be harsh on ourselves. We are the majority. We didn’t fail. We simply rescheduled our brilliance. Repeatedly. Because we are not lazy. We are visionary. We don’t procrastinate; we prioritise differently.

All is not a waste: If we do introspect seriously and honestly, December will remind us of how our relationships evolved (or revolved) and how we discovered the sacred group chats from the ones that exist only to forward recycled New Year GIFs. Some friendships deepened, some fizzled, and some were reduced to LinkedIn endorsements. We also learnt that emotional maturity is just the art of clicking the like button or ignoring the message and moving on peacefully. We may not have built abs, a business, or written a bestseller, but we did gain perspective in addition to some weight. We felt joy, chaos, irritation, connection, and disconnection. We still have the nth version of the Google Doc, full of half-written plans. But somewhere in between, we have also grown. Perhaps subtly. Perhaps spiritually. Or perhaps just horizontally.

The Resolution Circus will soon hit you: December is when we make resolutions, as if we were signing treaties with destiny. And yet, we know from experience most resolutions die young and unapologetically. Because the real issue isn’t time, talent, or even laziness; it’s expectations. We expect ourselves to be superhuman while refusing to give up comfort, control, or 3-hour scrolling sessions. We also expect our relationships to work like Bluetooth devices—effortless, wireless, and frustration-free. But we, in a relationship, fail to recognise that like all Bluetooth devices, they often require restarting, re-pairing, and sometimes, complete device replacement.

So what should be the ONE resolution worth keeping? Set realistic expectations. For yourself. For others. For life. Stop outsourcing your happiness to goals, gadgets, promotions, or other humans. Stop believing the myth that productivity equals purpose. Free yourself from the guilt of unfinished dreams and the tyranny of perfectly unmanageable timelines. Instead, think like a brand. Yes, you are the product. Ask a few unsettling questions.

What do I stand for?

What value do I bring to people’s lives?

Why should anyone—friends, family, colleagues, and LinkedIn network—include me in their circle?

What am I a solution to?

If you can answer even one of these without Googling or using ChatGPT, congratulations; it’s a sign that you’re evolving. Slowly. Quietly. Meaningfully.

So, this December, don’t just count what you didn’t do. Acknowledge what you did.

Maybe you didn’t master the guitar, but you learnt to listen better. Maybe the book 2didn’t get written, but you rewrote parts of your life. Maybe you didn’t run a marathon, but you walked away from things that broke you.

And as for time? You’re not wasting it. You’re living it the way it should be: imperfectly, beautifully, humanly and in the present.

So, here’s to December, the uncomfortable month of reflection and revelation. The antidote for this is just having realistic expectations of yourself and others. Having fewer things to do but ensuring they are done.

Make just one resolution this year: Travel light—drop the guilt and keep the growth. The rest will follow.

Happy almost New Year!

And hey—if you do join the gym in January… please don’t steal the towels.